Adelbert Steiner

The most fascinating thing about Adelbert Steiner is that he's buffed by Equipment he's not even wearing. That makes him a shoo-in for the kinds of type-changing buffoonery that turns, like, Clues into Equipment.

Unfortunately, practically all such effects are in red instead of white, so he's more of a ninety-nine sorta guy instead of a command zone kinda guy. I suppose you could go for a living weapon go-wide strategy, where you play nothing but Equipments that generate their own wielders, but I'm much higher on using Arna Kennerüd, Skycaptain for that purpose.

Aerith Gainsborough

It's so fucked up that the best way to use Aerith's death trigger is to bring her back in response to it, the way legions of gamers wanted to all the way back in 1997.

If she's resurrected before her trigger resolves, she'll end up puting her own counters on herself in addition to any other legendary creatures you have laying around. Add in The Ozolith, Reluctant Role Model, and Resourceful Defense, and you can easily murder a man.

As for how to consistently accomplish such a feat in mono-white, well, that's the jank portion, isn't it? Blink a Sun Titan or something. If she's in the ninety-nine and you've got access to black, then scam spells like Feign Death can do the trick, too.

Alisaie Leveilleur & Alphinaud Leveilleur

I've never played the critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV nor its award-winning Heavensward expansion, so I have no idea if these characters are related or married. Not that that matters to the fanfic authors.

This team of two really only cares about your second spell each turn. To take advantage of that, I brainstormed methods of wasting my first spell each turn as efficiently as possible before concluding that the juice wasn't worth the squeeze. What, is your plan to preface every big spell you cast with an Opt? That's just called Azorius goodstuff.

On the bright side, they did, however, help me come up with the idea of putting all these second-spell-matters creatures into a cascade deck. In retrospect, it seems so simple; the first spell you cast each turn has to cascade into the second one, right?

Ambrosia Whiteheart

It's a shame such a spectacular drag queen name is wasted on such a middling creature.

Ambrosia Whiteheart would have some jank potential if it didn't come with the Whitemane Lion exploit patched, but unfortunately, it can only bounce another target permanent you control back to your hand.

I do kinda like the idea of attacking, sacrificing all your lands, then using something like Faith's Reward to bring them all back for a massive Landfall buff. Actually, a person at my LGS tried to do something similar to me, once. I countered Faith's Reward.

Ashe, Princess of Dalmasca

I've accidentally signed up for reviewing a bunch of draft chaff, haven't I?

If you want to rip the top cards of your library for artifacts, just do yourself a favor and play Muzzio instead. Seriously, I don't know why Muzzio isn't more popular. I guess being printed in Conspiracy and practically nowhere else will do that to you.

Auron, Venerated Guardian

Auron is fine if and only if you aggressively target your opponent's commanders, trick them into letting him exile them, and then play a bunch of long-term phasing bullshit so that they're gone for good. If I saw someone pull that off, it would absolutely send me.

Beatrix, Loyal General

The most depressing thing that Beatrix lost when they decided to make her a nerfed Ardenn is the ability to attach Equipment to your opponents' creatures.

Cid, Freeflier Pilot

How many Equipment and Vehicle spells have cycling? ...Oh.

Yeah, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say the flying and slight cost reduction is not worth the opportunity cost of having Hanna, Ship's Navigator in the command zone, who has way more potential for recursive shenanigans. Sram adoooores this guy, though.

Cloud, Midgar Mercenary

Oh boy, look at the clock! It's the hour where I get triggered an additional time.

Anyone that's read any prior set review of mine knows that I hate trigger doublers. They're the precise opposite of jank; they push you in a direction so hard, and reward you for it so well, that the decks start building themselves. There's no soul, no creative spark! Playing one is intellectually lazy. Tell me, what excitement lies in the knowledge that when I go to Cloud's EDHREC page, I'm gonna see nothin' but swords? Because I just did it, and I counted nine. Nine swords are on his EDHREC page.

Maybe there's a way to salvage this, though. There are other ways to give creatures triggered abilities than just Equipment. Unfortunately, (the oddly-apropos Veteran Soldier aside) most of the non-Equipment methods in white suck, so Cloud is demoted to ninety-nine status here.

Double Bear Umbra sounds fun, as does double Nerd Rage. I would also recommend double Combat Research, provided such a pairing doesn't flashbang you with haunting images of that annoying sidequest-giver Chadley, or as I like to call him, discount Hope Estheim.

Cyan, Vengeful Samurai

Cyan's payoff is middling at best. Sure, you could bring back three creatures to boost him into a 6/6 double-striker, or — and hear me out, here — you could just give him a bat. Maybe there's an exile-your-own-graveyard angle here, à la Ketramose, but I'd need something more substantial than a few piddly +1/+1 counters to tempt me.

Dion, Bahamut's Dominant

Woof, forget Bahamut, Dion could be my Dominant.

While he's not too impressive on cast, I do like Dion after he transforms. Jumping and buffing your entire team not once, but twice is spectacular. In terms of jank, though, there's not really much to work with here. You're almost certainly just going wide with Knights.

Elena, Turk Recruit

Holy shit, a second white Assassin! And she cares about historic spells! Layla Hassan is eating tonight!

Gatta and Luzzu

Gatta and Luzzu have the problem of being too telegraphed if you put them in the command zone, and if that doesn't phase you, they're still too dependent on your opponent swinging at you with a gigantic beater to become anything resembling a threat.

Putting them in the ninety-nine and casting them in response to your own Blasphemous Act, though? Perfection.

General Leo Cristophe

How is it that I've reviewed all three characters with the iconic Shock ability and none of them get it?

General Leo deserves better than a bad Sun Titan trigger stapled to a middling enters buff. C'mon, Wizards, gimme something to work with here!

G'raha Tia

Sacrificing creatures to draw cards is fine, but throwing away an artifact every turn is much more interesting. Treasures, Clues, and Foods all seem like the obvious path forward, so instead, let's saaaaay... Liquimetal Torque into a bunch of Sagas, why not?

Heidegger, Shinra Executive

If you're going to make three Soldiers a turn, then you're going to rapidly eclipse your opponents in raw creature count, which shuts off Heidegger. That begs the question: how do we make the game think we have fewer Soldiers than we actually do? The answer is, like many things in Magic, phasing.

Hildibrand Manderville

If you can reduce the cost of both sides of the card by enough mana, then Hildibrand Manderville goes infinite with Phyrexian Altar. It's just unfortunate that Stormscape Familiar is blue, because it would have gone a long way in reaching that goal.

Lord Jyscal Guado

You really need to have some alternative use for those Clues, because I'm pitting Lord Jyscal Guado against Danny Pink, and it's not a flattering comparison for him in either the gameplay or the looks department.

Y'know what, scratch the Clues thing, too. I just remembered that Teysa, Opulent Oligarch exists, and she's got triple the cheese output. I suppose you can technically get more clues per turn cycle out of Jyscal, but let's be real, you're not putting a counter on a creature every turn.

Minwu, White Mage

Just in case my credibility is still intact with some of my readers out there, I actually like Final Fantasy II, so seeing Minwu get his very own card made me grin.

Unfortunately for a Jank Rank, his deck builds itself. All the Soul Sisters are Clerics, so if you cram your deck full of 'em, every creature that enters will buff your whole board. Undoubtably fun, but undeniably unoriginal.

Rosa, Resolute White Mage

Boy, do I wish Rosa had a more permissive color identity, because I sure would love to give lifelink to Guttersnipe. As it stands, mono-white is just limiting her potential.

Snow Villiers

Just in case my credibility is still intact with some of my readers out there, I actually like Final Fantasy XIII, so seeing Snow Villiers get his very own card made me grin.

And true to form, he kinda sucks. If you want this sort of gameplay, stick with Shanna, who also buffs her toughness and has a much more interesting protective ability than vigilance.

Stiltzkin, Moogle Merchant

It's Stiltzkin! He sells people stuff!

Of course, his ground has already been tread by Zedruu ten years ago, but who cares? It's Stiltzkin, guys!

I was gonna leave it at that, but I realized that the one thing the Moogle Merchant has over Zedruu is that his card draw is immediate. If you find a removal spell pointed at something you control, you can donate your doomed permanent to draw a card, sort of like how you donate canned goods that are about to expire for the tax writeoff.

Tataru Taru

Tataru Taru is an absurdly blinkable creature. Blinking her resets her once-per-turn restriction, so each Cloudshift you cast leaves your opponent with a choice; either accept your gift and give you both twice the cards and some extra mana, or reject your gift, which still leaves you card-neutral.

Thancred Waters

Compare Kyodai, who trades Thancred's resilience for a perfect color identity and also the ability to actually win the game as opposed to merely not losing it.

Alright, I suppose Thancred does have a niche. He's basically immune to your own board wipes, so you could cram a deck full of wraths and duo down all your opponents with another legendary of your choice. That feels like hell to play against, though, so make sure you ask your friends if they like you enough first.

Venat, Heart of Hydaelyn

Well, shit. It's the very next legendary, and already has Thancred's niche been stolen from under him. Hydaelyn not only gives the same number of permanents indestructible, she also exiles problems and draws cards as she does it. Better luck next time, Thancred.

Zack Fair

For those of you out there who feel guilty for sacrificing Resolute Watchdog, you can rest easy by slotting Zack Fair in instead. It's much less tragic when a human dies.

I don't know how much Zack Fair is going to offer most players over the poor pooch, but if your deck likes to spread counters among your whole board, then he's a fair include. He would certainly be annoying in any given Atraxa deck, that's for sure.

Edgar, King of Figaro

Finally, a creature that requires a little analysis.

Edgar, King of Figaro has you draw cards equal to the number of artifacts you control when he enters, but despite that actually being really good, let's be serious. Nobody gives a single shit about that — we're all interested in his two-headed coin.

Let's start with his prospects as a commander, or rather his lack thereof. If you put him at the helm of your deck, you gain access to a staggering ten cards that care about flipping coins. Classics like Bottle of Suleiman and Goblin Lyre await you! Edgar, more than any other commander in the set, is held back by his color identity, because he desperately needs red to play the cards that actually matter.

Okay, so ninety-nine time instead. Where does Edgar go? Okaun and Zndrsplt both seem fine, since it guarantees you your first flip — but it doesn't go any further than that. Edgar, King of Figaro will let you draw a card and double some power, but since this deck is predicated on winning as many flips as possible, you're better off with more ways to clone Krark's Thumb.

Let's move on to Krark and Sakashima, a duo that uses coin flips as a method to copy spells. If you're using this duo with cheap spells, intending to lose for spellcast triggers, don't bother. If you want to win one flip and lose the other, allowing you to cast your spell's copy while returning the original to your hand as though it had buyback, then Edgar, King of Figaro is worthwhile.

Yusri, Fortune's Flame is the first and only coin-flip commander that wants Edgar without any sort of caveat. It's super straightforward. If Edgar is on the field, you just name five on every attack, guaranteeing you a full grip of five cards and the Omniscience to cast them.

Finally, we have Breeches, the Blastmaker, who does bring it back around to caring about artifacts, but only in a token way. Your ceiling is worse than Krark's here, but you do gain the ability to copy permanent spells, which is a nice bonus.

The inherent jankiness of coin flips aside, I should point out that Edgar causes you to win flips that previously had no winner. That means Chance Encounter now triggers on a Ral Zarek ult, which is pretty funny.

My final conclusion is that this card is so, so unfortunate. I keep reading Edgar, King of Figaro and wishing things were different. I wish he was Izzet; I wish he cost a little bit less mana; I wish you could choose to throw and lose a coin flip on command; I wish he was real and on my speed-dating circuit. It's all the little things that kill him for me. I would trade away his card draw ability for all that in a heartbeat.

Gogo, Master of Mimicry

Two fascinating commanders in a row! Who knew that all I had to do to find something interesting was to scroll right past all the white commanders?

For every two mana you sink into Gogo, Master of Mimicry, you get to copy an activated or triggered ability of your choice. The fact that it's any ability you control, with no restrictions on the source of that ability, lends itself to tons of combos and weird techs. It's so open-ended and fascinating that I'm just gonna go ahead and list a few fun interactions I thought of. You decide what you wanna do.

• Gogo can copy the triggers from being the monarch and taking the initiative;
• Gogo can copy any embalm, eternalize, and encore abilities;
• Gogo can copy cycling abilities to effectively draw cards at a rate of two per card;
• Gogo can copy cascade, discover, and even storm triggers;
• Gogo can copy delayed triggered abiltiies, like the one created by Complete the Circuit;
• Gogo can copy abilities with a cost that would usually preclude activating it multiple times in a turn, like Master Transmuter, Timestream Navigator, and Magosi, the Waterveil;
• Gogo basically absorbs all of Tawnos's combos, including the one with Sands of Time;
• Gogo loves having a copy of Aboleth Spawn around;
• Oh God, the interaction with Eye of the Storm;

And I want to stress, this isn't even everything I've thought of. I have to keep some secrets for How They Brew It, after all. Point is, Gogo is so obviously jank it hurts. Go be creative!

Hermes, Overseer of Elpis

Aaaaaand we're back to boring cards. Hermes is a cute inclusion in any given spellslinger deck, I suppose, but we've seen this song and dance before.

Hraesvelgr of the First Brood

The only benefit Hraesvelgr of the First Brood maintains over Bria, Riptide Rogue is that they're a much better blocker, but that's not worth the one mana premium, narrowing the effect of the power buff, and forfeiting access to an entire color.

Jill, Shiva's Dominant

Uhhh... huh.

So Jill is a bounce spell stapled to a Rogue's Passage that then taps down your opponents' lands and blinks itself, bouncing another thing when she reenters. I guess this is the card you play if you just really, really hate big blockers? That first chapter can target herself, so you do have some opportunities for a cheesy Voltron kill. But with such a high mana cost, why wouldn't you play an actually evasive creature, or actual removal, or something like a Manifold Key?

Yup, it just hit me. Jill has Fair Charm Syndrome. Like I get that she's a repeatable tempo removal spell that plays many roles. She'll be awful to face in limited, I'm sure. This one just isn't for us.

Lulu, Stern Guardian

Well this is an infinite mana sink if I've ever seen one.

If you're not going infinite, then four mana is a lot to ask for per proliferation. Realistically, you're not going to activate Lulu, Stern Guardian more than twice a turn unless your mana sources scale with counters — you know, like Astral Cornucopia and Empowered Autogenerator.

As for what the payoff is? Well, I guess you could ult planeswalkers, but I like the idea of killing your opponents with absolute trash. I'm talking kicked Academy Drake levels of unplayable.

Matoya, Archon Elder

Fuck, just reading the name of this card gets her theme stuck in my head. I know that this is the Final Fantasy XIV version, but that game is so mastubatory that I'd put money on her retaining the same theme from her original appearance in Final Fantasy. (I checked; she does.)

As for the card, Matoya is most comparable to Eligeth. She has a few considerable downsides:

• Matoya doesn't have partner, so you're locked in to mono-blue;
• Matoya doesn't scale with the amount of cards you scry; and
• Matoya is substantially worse in combat, lacking flying and a ton of power.

She's not strictly worse, though; really, she's more of an alternate take on the concept. Here's what she does right:

• Matoya triggers on surveil in addition to scry;
• Matoya isn't a replacement effect — you still get to scry, and then draw; and
• Matoya comes down substantially earlier.

This is a fine Magic card. Stuff like Opt gets really good with her as a general. It's just that creating a jank strat out of a straightforward value engine is difficult. The most interesting thing I could come up with is using those old Moonfolk cards like Floodbringer to repeatedly bounce and play lands that scry when they enter.

O'aka, Traveling Merchant

A legendary Soul Diviner isn't what I was expecting for O'aka, but let's roll with it.

The intended synergy is obviously removing lore counters from Sagas, but there's plenty of other kinds of counters out there that you would love to get rid of, like age counters. If you're looking for some inspiration, I've done a deck like this about battles, and you could always crib notes from Chisei, Heart of Oceans, whom O'aka soundly obseletes.

Quistis Trepe

If there was ever a creature I wish had flash, it's Quistis Trepe.

It just kills my enthusiasm, y'know? You're not recurring counterspells, you're not doubling removal spells on an opponent's turn — all you can do is make plodding value plays that you have to pay full price for anyway, so what's the point? Might as well be playing Kess.

Your best bet is milling your opponents out and hoping they have something worth casting, and even then you're better off with an actual mill commander. Pass.

Rikku, Resourceful Guardian

Interrogating the seemingly redundant phrase "by creatures your opponents control" made me realize that Rikku, Resourceful Guardian triggers when you put counters on any creature, period, not just when you put counters on a creature you control.

If an opponent swings out at a mutual enemy, you can encounterify it to make it unblockable. Simply find a way to put beneficial counters on a creature an opponent controls, and then steal it back for your turn so you can swing without the fear of blockers too. There don't seem to be a lot of ways to do that, but that just means the strategy is more jank, right?

Ultimecia, Temporal Threat

Clearly you blink Ultimecia when you go to combat. And when the archenemy goes to combat. And when your other opponents swing out at the archenemy when they go to combat.

Ultros, Obnoxious Octopus

Gridlock for seven, anyone?

Y'shtola Rhul

Finding interesting end step triggers may seem like the million-dollar question, but I actually think it's a red herring. I would instead focus on finding creatures with amazing enters triggers, and then go for the gut punch by stocking my deck with cards like Nanogene Conversion.

When Nanogene Conversion resolves, everything becomes Y'shtola, so you'll get as many extra end steps as you have creatures. Then, you can strategically pick which creatures you want to blink and reset to their original forms, getting their triggers again, and which creatures you want to keep as Y'shtola, so that you can use those flickers every end step.

You can't have all your Y'shtolas target the same thing, so ideally one-half of your creatures flicker the other half. Pulling this off should win you the game in short order, especially if you're an asshole with Agent of Treachery.

Ardyn, the Usurper

And here we have Ardyn, the first mono-black commander to buff Demons. If you read that and thought to yourself "there's no way that can be true," then look it up yourself.

Like any commander that makes copies of a creature, but with a specific power and toughness, I recommend the Clockwork model, named after creatures like Clockwork Dragon. That means include creatures with base power and toughness 0/0 which buff themselves some other way; think modular or graft.

Unfortunately, in terms of that strategy, Ardyn is kind of shit because he costs eight mana. That's a lot of mana, and your reward for such a play is capped at one big beater a turn. Other eight drop black commanders do stuff like "sac a creature, tutor a card" or "whenever you lose life, draw that many cards", so the outlook is pretty grim here. Luckily, those cards are all Demons, so just put a bunch of 'em in one deck! Why not?

Cecil, Dark Knight

Giving all of your creatures indestructible is a potent and unique effect, especially if you pair Cecil up with a Reconaissance Reconnossance Reconnaissence Reconnaissance to stop him from dying in combat.

It's just that you have to take twenty damage without access to a meaningful commander in the interim to get to that point. It actually reminds me of those Gods from Baldur's Gate, like Bane, Lord of Darkness, but with those creatures you could at least advance your game plan the entire match.

But sure, we've gone through our redemption arc. What can you do with a team full of indestructible creatures? Well, I'm sorry, Hydaelyn, but Cecil has stolen your niche of board-wipe-typal, which you stole from Thancred.

One final note is that I'm upset that Darkness doesn't have any sort of positive effect whatsoever. In Final Fantasy IV, it made him deal damage to all enemies at the cost of his own HP, but I suppose having a one mana board wipe might be a bit overpowered.

Fandaniel, Telophoroi Ascian

What a name! None of those words are in the Bible.

Fandaniel, Telophoroi Ascian screams PLAY NOTHING BUT REMOVAL louder than an Azorius control main locked in a padded cell. Fill your deck up with all manner of Infernal Grasps, and your opponents will have no choice but to take the damage, since you've already emancipated them from any nontoken creatures they could think about sacrificing.

Everyone will hate you and you will deserve it, but don't worry. You can protest that, "no, it's totally fair, guys! My deck has no creatures. Isn't that quirky?!" Your pod will all immediately forgive you for your sins and take you out for chocolate frosty milkshakes.

Fang, Fearless l'Cie & Vanille, Cheerful l'Cie

No real sense reviewing these two separately, given they've already rented the U-Haul and moved in together. I mean, that's canon, right? (A Google search tells me it's ambiguous.)

Let's start with Fang. Fang as a solo commander is uninterestingly good. Making your first reanimation, or flashback spell, or even dredge cantrip is a pretty solid build-around. Unfortunately, generic value engines are generally not jank, so let's move on to Vanille.

Vanille is a bad card. Not in theory; but in practice, it's her color identity holding her back. I actually wish she didn't have black; then, at least, you could put her in blink decks and use her like a discount Eternal Witness. It seems like a weird complaint, but how many blink decks have you seen that are Golgari-plus? They're almost all Azorius, Selesnya, or Bant — maybe Boros, if you're feeling spicy.

With Vanille so lackluster, her strategy as a commander is going all in on tutoring for Fang. Your reward is Ragnarok, Divine Deliverance, who has a billion keywords and a decent reanimator death trigger. It's an alright meld, but losing actual Fang for the privilege sucks. I'm just not willing to jump through this many hoops; the two of them really needed partner with to be playable.

Gaius van Baelsar

Boy would Gaius van Baelsar be annoying to Feign Death over and over.

Interceptor, Shadow's Hound

You're a little cold on the trail, little buddy; you feel like you want to be in a different Universes Beyond set.

Interceptor ain't helming a deck, but you can fit him into any given Assassin's Creed list you might have lying around. Jacob and Evie make the mose sense, given their focus on dealing combat damage and interacting with the graveyard.

Jecht, Reluctant Guardian

Jecht's front side is basically a vanilla creature, and his back side is the world's slowest Syphon Mind stapled to the world's slowest Barter in Blood. It is a four-mana 7/7 with menace, meaning it handles attacking well, but in the aggregate I'm not impressed.

To make matters worse, Jecht isn't like the Dominant cards from Final Fantasy XVI; he doesn't exile himself and return to the battlefield once he's run his course, he outright dies. That means you only have three turns with him before he bites it and you have to cast him again.

There is one saving grace, and that's counter shenanigans. If you can keep removing lore counters from him, then he becomes an annoying value and control engine. It seems like a lot of work to ape what Braids does for free, but maybe you relate to Tidus's daddy issues. I know I sure do.

Kain, Traitorous Dragoon

Kain gives you more value the more damage he does, but buffing him in any way, whether that be through counters, Auras, or Equipment, is an insanely risky proposition. Not only are you losing life equal to the amount of damage you deal on contact, you actually have to give him away — and there's nothing in the rulebook that says your victim can't turn around and use Kain against you.

Perhaps the best way to handle Kain, then, is with combat tricks, since the ephemeral nature of those boosts means you're not at risk of giving your enemies too much value on the crackback.

But even that caution doesn't deal with a sufficiently upstanding player, who will reject any greedy desires to swing with Kain and simply park him on the battlefield to rot in a limbo that you'll never be able to absolve him from. Including and tutoring for Homeward Path as a countermeasure is an absolute necessity. Jade Monolith is also a hilarious proposition, since it makes blocking him... weird, to say the least. Fun commander.

Reno and Rude

Nashi, Moon Sage's Scion costs only one more mana than Reno and Rude and soundly trounces them in every meaningful metric. The only real advantage Mr. Clean and O.G. Axel have is menace, and like, c'mon. They're a 2/1, they're getting eaten for breakfast.

Sephiroth, Fabled SOLDIER

For most decks, Sephiroth, Fabled SOLDIER is just a fancy Blood Artist. You might be tempted to build around the sacrifice-to-draw ability, but unfortunately Yawgmoth exists and I couldn't help but feeling like I'm missing out by excising him from the command zone. And four is a particularly arbitrary number for the transformation, all things considered.

There is one thing that's particularly alluring to me about Sephiroth, Fabled SOLDIER, though: racking up those emblems!

I want to see how many emblems I can get out of Sephiroth before the rest of the table bites it. To get there, you'd probably need a method to create infinite creatures, as well as a method to generate infinite mana so that you can sacrifice and cast him as your commander repeatedly. I won't be stopped by the fact that such a prerequisite wins you the game outright anyway, I want fifty emblems, dammit!

Seymour Flux

This guy was such a dick to fight in Final Fantasy X! Why is his representation in Magic a Phyrexian Arena with a huge ass? Seymour Flux, more like Seymour Butts. Generic value engines ain't jank, yadda yadda.

Shadow, Mysterious Assassin

Like Rosa above, Shadow, Mysterious Assassin is missing out on another color to make him truly spectacular — and I'd argue it's red.

Red would have given Shadow access to tons of Threaten effects. The play pattern would be to steal an enemy creature that's being a problem, make a deal with another player to let Shadow through, and then dome everyone while drawing cards and removing threats. The perfect Rakdos commander.

Instead, we're left with this mono-black version, which clearly incentivizes you to Reanimate large things to throw at your opponents. The problem with that is you generally don't want to throw your large reanimation targets at your opponents, because they're much more impactful on the board alive instead of as a delivery mechanism for burn. And because Shadow's damage is based on the sacrificed permanent's mana value instead of its power, you can't even get good value like Brion Stoutarm flinging a Ball Lightning.

Maybe throwing creatures like Rune-Scarred Demon makes sense, since all their power is in the enters trigger, but even then I'm looking at a 6/6 Demon and wondering why. You could argue that this is just a sac outlet, but like Sephiroth above, you have to compete with Yawgmoth. I've never been a huge fan of sac outlets that rely on combat damage to trigger, because it's just too easy for an opponent to turn them off.

Siegfried, Famed Swordsman

You have to time Siegfried, Famed Swordsman right to get the most value out of him. Too early, and he's too weak to affect the board; too late, and you'll miss your window to do serious damage as your opponents set up their engines.

His biggest tragedy is that he doesn't get more counters when more creature cards go to your graveyard, because then I'd be more willing to experiment. Right now, he seems comparable to Criminal Past, which is a Background, and can therefore be attached to all sorts of wonderfully fun commanders, like Baeloth and Sarevok.

Vincent Valentine

Now here's a timing-focused commander I can get behind. Vincent Valentine builds up his power when enemy creatures die, and then, when you're ready, you can transform him into a stronger attacker with trample and lifelink. He loses his scaling powers when he goes Beast Mode, but he also comes back to life if he's killed in this state, meaning Vincent is great fodder for cards like Rite of Consumption and Shadowheart. Maybe the jank angle is building up his power for one of those effects.

Edict effects and sacrificial lambs like Fleshbag Marauder rule the day in this deck, since they're the most effective way to translate cards into deaths. Most creatures have some power, so stapling a +3/+3 buff onto every spell you sling gets out of hand fast.

This deck goes all-in on combat, and I love it. It actually reminds me of what a Vogar, Necropolis Tyrant would be taken to its logical conclusion, and for those of you wondering, yes, I do just know these off the top of my head.

Zenos yae Galvus

I would be terrified to see Zenos yae Galvus across the table. You just know that their plan is going to be to focus down one person, get them to a sliver of their health, and then cast Zenos into a kill spell to immediately flip him and win the game with a Blood Artist trigger.

For extra jank, Zenos works with Panharmonicon the way you want it to. Chosen creatures A and B both get -2/-2, while every other creature gets -4/-4. If one of your chosen creatures has only two toughness, that means you're transforming him instantly.

Zodiark, Umbral God

What is it with the Final Fantasy XIV gods and stealing strategies I just came up with for other characters? Zodiark, Umbral God is a better Vincent than Vincent. Maybe you can shove Zodiark, Umbral God, Vincent, and Vogar in a list together and roll a die to see which variant you end up playing.

Or, just lean into the fact that Zodiark, Umbral God gives you five black pips. Gary is salivating.

Avalanche of Sector 7

Mycosynth Lattice.

Barret Wallace

There's twenty-nine red-identity Equipments out there that create and then attach themselves to a token. Unfortunately for Barret Wallace, most of them suck. They'll all boost his burn damage, sure, but cards like Flayer Husk aren't making much of a splash on their own.

This is, of course, the definition of jank and I applaud you if you take it to its logical conclusion. Prototype Portal, here I come! (Give him lifelink for extra potential.)

Cait Sith, Fortune Teller

Like Siegfried above, it's hard to recommend Cait Sith, Fortune Teller over its Background version, in this case Tavern Brawler (a card that is pretty jank in its own right). Scry 1 does help rig the slots in your favor by tossing away useless lands, and you can target any creature instead of being forced to buff your commander, but neither of those small improvements make up for the loss of a potential second color.

Clive, Ifrit's Dominant

Clive draws cards equal to your devotion to red when he enters, and even though you have to pitch your current hand for the privilege, that's still a ridiculous sentence. Coming in with two red pips on his own, odds are pretty good that Clive's taking you to hand size, so the loss of your previous grip isn't so much a tragedy, sort of like when you have new kids to replace the ones that died in the crash. Seriously, it's like your own personal Wheel of Fortune in the command zone, and it's not like red is completely helpless when it comes to interacting with the graveyard.

This is a way better payoff for devotion than Anax ever was (and I'm not too broken up about that, especially considering that Anax is arguably just a worse version of Callaphe, who has the same gameplan but far more flexibility in its execution).

But what about after Clive hits the battlefield? For an additional six, he transforms into Ifrit, who immediately kills a dude (because nobody is scrapping with a 9/9). His next two turns are two four-mana rituals, which gives you the resources to play that hand you just drew. To top it all off, on the third day, he rises again, re-entering the battlefield as Clive to Wheel of Fortune forevermore.

This card is spectacular, and I can't wait to go all in on red enchantments like City on Fire and Fiery Emancipation. Doubling damage and increasing the card draw feels like an absolute slam-dunk, and a blast to play.

Firion, Wild Rose Warrior

Flavor fail. Everyone knows that the best weapon in Final Fantasy II is actually unarmed.

Regardless, Firion, Wild Rose Warrior seems like the perfect card for mono-red Rebel typal when you factor in those For Mirrodin! cards like Hexplate Wallbreaker. Anything that makes its own wielder will double up with Firion, Wild Rose Warrior in play, and unlike the Equipment that spawned them, the creature tokens won't go away at the beginning of the next upkeep.

Failing that, you could focus specifially on Equipment whose Equip costs are two or less, since there's no rider on his reduction that stipulates that it can't reduce the amount of mana you have to pay to 0. There's maybe more such Equipment than you think, including standouts like Blinding Powder (for a completely safe attack), Mask of Immolation (for another copy of Goblin Bombardment), and Paradise Mantle (to tap as many creatures as you want for mana). You could also use it to buff up a creature's power in preparation for a series of flings.

Freya Crescent

Freya Crescent is fine early on, but fades into the mist about a third through the game as she ceases to have any meaningful lasting impact. This is completely on-brand for her, so kudos, Wizards!

Gau, Feral Youth

Triggering when a card leaves your graveyard is niche for red, and the payoff is pretty good, too! Unless your opponents have a slow start out of the gate, I wouldn't bother actually attacking with Gau; just slap some Auras on 'im and go for flashback and jump-start cards.

Gilgamesh, Master-at-Arms

While superficially, Gilgamesh, Master-at-Arms resembles a version of Godo that can't outright tutor cards and therefore can't be mistaken for a cEDH deck, in reality, Gilgamesh, Master-at-Arms is the Equipment version of Winota. Thank God he doesn't extend his Equipment-ripping ability to all Samurai.

You should know that although you can cheat out multiple Equipment with Gilgamesh's trigger, you only get to attach one of them. That means you're better off optimizing for high casting-cost Equipment instead of high equipping-cost Equipment, so you can get the most value.

I'd consider a version of this strategy where you don't care that about the actual effects of the Equipment you're playing at at all — just stuff your deck full of the most expensive helmets or whatever possible and toss them at a dude with Bosh.

Gogo, Mysterious Mime

Gogo, Mysterious Mime is effectively a Spark Double which you can reassign every turn, at the cost of it only being active during your turn. If the cards you care to copy are only really useful when you're the active player, like powerful attackers, then it's a fair tradeoff; otherwise, you're better off with a standard clone.

In particular, legendary creatures with powerful activated abilities synergize well with Gogo, Mysterious Mime. Transforming into another copy of such a creature not only lets you activate that ability twice (since retaining the name means you don't run afoul of the legend rule), it also lets you activate those abilities without worrying about summoning sickness thanks to the added haste. Add a few in and go to town.

Lightning, Security Sergeant

Well, I guess "as long as you control Lightning" is better than "until the end of your next turn," but this is still a waste of a turn three, especially compared to the guaranteed Count on Luck. Wow, I really promised to review all one-hundred and sixty-two commanders, didn't I?

Prompto Argentum

Prompto basically refunds you one mana every time you cast a noncreature spell for four or more mana. It's an aggressively okay effect for two mana, but not as impactful as you might think.

A quick math lesson: flat discounts (or rebates) get worse the more expensive your spells are. A discount of one on a four-cost spell is only 25% off, whereas a discount of one on, say, a two-cost spell is 50% off. In other words, a discount of one lets you cast twice as many two-cost spells, but only a third more four-cost spells.

Stuff rarely gets discounted by more than one in this game, so discounts are best used in decks that cast many low cost spells, preferably around the two or three mana mark. If your list is full of high cost spells, you're better off with more aggressive ramp, like doubling your mana.

For example, if you have four lands, you can initially cast one four-cost spell and two two-cost spells. Discounting by one using Ruby Medallion still only lets you cast one four-cost spell, but bumps up the number of two-cost spells you can play to four. Meanwhile, if you double your mana with Gauntlet of Power, then you can cast two four-cost spells, but still only four two-cost spells. It's more effective for the more expensive spells, but the same level of power for the cheaper ones.

All this is to say that playing Prompto like a discount is wrong. Discounting isn't the true strength of Prompto. You should continue to cast spells with the idea that you have to pay four every time, and bank the Treasure over time to pay for big spells you might otherwise be unable to cast thanks to missing ramp or land drops.

Queen Brahne

We'll see these Wizard tokens again later on a commander that's much more interesting than Queen Brahne, but don't count out any creature that has the potential to pump out Firebrand Archers — even if it involves awkwardly attacking with a 2/1.

Raubahn, Bull of Ala Mhigo

That's one hell of a ward cost. At high enough power, it's practically hexproof. It's a shame that paying ward costs is optional, because I'd love to build a Raubahn, Bull of Ala Mhigo deck that Deflecting Swats unrelated removal spells to him just to force your opponents to pay tons of life.

Sabin, Master Monk

Seeing a Tenacious Underdog in the command zone wasn't on my bingo list, but that's pretty much exactly what Sabin is in the story.

Sabin, Master Monk makes a pretty interesting madness commander. His blitz ability requires you to discard a card as a cost, and madness turns that otherwise glaring weakness into a strength. Plus, a 4/3 double striker that never stays dead is a decent tool to break through cluttered ground states, so there's a fun low-powered deck here to play with.

Seifer Almasy

The obligatory Swords to Plowshares in every white deck aside, Seifer's only going to consistently find instants and sorceries for his trigger in your graveyard.

Since the first strike damage step and the regular damage step are two different damage steps, you don't actually need to have a completely stocked graveyard at the start to make the most out of the trigger. So long as you put another spell in the graveyard before Seifer goes to normal damage, you're good to go.

That's why I'd build a deck entirely out of Thrills of Possibility, since the additional cost isn't negated by the trigger. You still have to discard a card, and what better card to discard than another Thrill-type card? They'll just chain into each other, one right after the other.

Strago and Relm

They just had to make you sacrifice the creatures you steal from your opponents, didn't they? For such an early-game creature, sure; but I just can't stomach the idea of turn four activating Strago and Relm only to flip a Birds of Paradise that immediately dies before I can even cast anything with it.

I'd somehow be more on board if they couldn't hit creatures at all, because instants and sorceries are at least rare enough in deckbuilding that a Chaos Wand activation tends to get you something usable.

Weird order on the name, by the way; Relm and Strago rolls off the tongue better.

Umaro, Raging Yeti

Every time I see C-List party member from Final Fantasy VI get another card, I remember that they had to cut Eiko Carol and four-fifths of the playable Final Fantasy V cast.

If you copied any of Umaro, Raging Yeti's three modes individually and turned it into a sorcery, it'd prolly cost four or five mana. So he's giving you four or five mana worth of value every combat, and red is well known for having an abundance of extra combats. All you gotta do is pray you don't hit the wheel multiple times in a row, since that's the only one that doesn't stack on itself cleanly.

Vaan, Street Thief

Vaan, Street Thief and his gang of urchins mug cards from your opponents whenever they connect. A fine ability, but be wary that unlike most such theft effects, your mana isn't laundered when you go to cast your stolen goods. You actually have generate mana of the correct color to claim your prize, and that's probably the intended use for his Treasure tokens (as opposed to outright ramp).

I was considering suggesting that you could play Vaan, Street Thief without caring about the theft at all by banking Treasures, but giving up on that last ability would be such a shame. It only takes two or three board-wide buffs before you become a serious problem, so the deck builds itself as you include the best Scouts, Pirates, and/or Rogues.

Vincent, Vengeful Atoner

Vincent radiates his combat damage to all three opponents if his power is 7 or greater, as opposed to Kediss, who does it no matter what and makes up for it by having partner. And before you protest, no, the counters on contact isn't enough to render Vincent even remotely competitive.

Yuffie, Materia Hunter

Hold up, Yuffie's enters trigger is actually really good. You get to steal any noncreature artifact for as long as you control her, and that's always going to be relevant, whether that be someone's Sol Ring in the first few turns or another person's Portal to Phyrexia lategame.

She's not command zone material, but she is a solid evolution of the Rec Sage idea of removing a noncreature permanent for three mana as an ETB. The ninjutsu is a cute touch, too.

Zell Dincht

Going for Landfall in anything nongreen definitely consitutes a jank strategy. I can't wait to tutor Valakut when I've got Zell Dincht on the field, who is ready and willing to double my Mountain drops each turn.

Bartz and Boko

This set has much better Bird synergy waiting in the wings, no pun intended.

What I will say about Bartz and Boko is that any deck that would even remotely consider including it will have so many Birds that whatever you target is gonna end up super, duper dead. They're practically a green Ravenous Chupacabra for the Birds deck, and there's extra bonus points in it for you if you find a way to give your whole board lifelink before the damage gets dealt.

Bugenhagen, Wise Elder

I fear the man with the Bugenhagen deck. Of all possible options, they chose Bugenhagen. What insane thoughts lie buried behind their stoic face? What are they hiding? Are they handicapping themselves to prove that they don't need a powerful commander to wipe the floor with me? Am I going home in a body bag?

Diamond Weapon

With cheap fetchlands, eggs, and utility creatures that sacrifice themselves, Diamond Weapon is coming out turn four or five at the latest to handily win any combat it ever ends up being a part of.

It's not indestructible, sure, but even removal isn't going to keep this sucker down for long. You can go past seven permanents in your graveyard to start discounting the commander tax, too. It's like a Ghalta that doesn't get absolutely screwed over by a boardwipe.

For jank strats, try and focus on the disparity between its mana value and how much you actually pay for it. Excalibur, Sword of Eden is a great example of how you can leverage that, and you can get a lot of mileage out of if you set up the board just right.

Maester Seymour

A heavily-scaling Luminarch Aspirant for just one more mana makes Maester Seymour a great role-player in just about any +1/+1 counters deck, and his built-in monstrosity (yet another example of a push-your-luck timing mechanic in this set) can really get things going.

I'd cram his list full of dorks that add mana equal to their power, like Kami of Whispered Hopes. Any given Giant Growth will end up a permanent buff, too, calling back to Sovereign Okinec Ahau, so if you're looking for a combat trick deck, then here's another one.

Professor Hojo

Professor Hojo is bizarro-Horobi, Death's Wail — instead of targeting your opponent's stuff to kill it, you target your own creatures to draw cards.

You get a small discount for the first ability you activate during your turn that targets one of your creatures, so you're pretty much guaranteed a free draw on your turn. That's kind of nuts for a two mana creature in the command zone.

Personally, I'm thinking of building a scavenge, renew, and reinforce deck; not only does that seem flavorful for a mad scientist, they are all technically activated abilities that target creatures, even though they're not on the battlefield when you activate them. Bloodrush also seems quite fun.

Finally, with the right cards, you can get four free draws per turn cycle. Winning combos include Endbringer (just ping something with more than one toughness) and Seeker of Skybreak (who can target himself).

Quina, Qu Gourmet

Quina is Chatterfang, minus the forestwalk, the typal synergies, the power to make multiple tokens per trigger, the ability to play black cards, and the ridiculous sacrifice outlet. That's unfortunate for such a fan favorite (?), but at least s/he's got a cozy, swampy spot in every Grolnok list going forward.

Sazh Katzroy

Hey, set designers! Sazh has more personality than the bird in his hair. He's also got a dead son. Why can't he tutor his dead son to hand? I hope someone gets fired for that blunder.

Anyway, as I mentioned above when I reviewed Bartz and Boko, mono-green is not ready for the majesty of a Bird deck. They only have access to about forty, and that's including changelings. It's pretty slim pickings, too; nobody on the planet is falling over themselves to play Anvilwrought Raptor.

Sazh's only saving grace is the existence of Traveling Chocobo, who makes a pretty good secret commander. He will be immediately obsoleted the instant Wizards prints the inevitable Landfall-doubling legendary, but until that day comes, my boy has a respectable little niche.

Tifa Lockhart

Landfall is such a mature archetype that any deck trafficking in the strategy already has tons of redundant win conditions to choose from. If you're getting four or five triggers in a turn, then what does it matter if you kill an opponent with Scute Swarm or Scythecat Cub?

You don't need a win condition like in the command zone, because you should be able to consistently pull one out of the ninety-nine every game. In other words, Tifa Lockhart is a waste of the slot. Instead, dedicate your command zone to finding ways to trigger Landfall more frequently, since those effects tend to be rarer (and more expensive, assuming you're not made of money or inkjet cartridges).

Torgal, A Fine Hound

Maskwood Nexus.

Tromell, Seymour's Butler

The straightforward strategy for Tromell, Seymour's Butler is to play a ton of cheap creatures and then proliferate the counters that they now enter with to turn them into actual threats.

If you embrace chaos like me, though, then you'll use your minions as a means, and not an end. Keep as many cheap creatures in your hand as possible, then drop a planeswalker or a Darksteel Reactor. With the right setup, you can proliferate a fresh planeswalker right into a game-winning ultimate!

Absolute Virtue

Pack your deck with nothing but counterspells to ensure that Absolute Virtue never dies and your friends never get to have fun. Watch out for the aristocrats decks, though — protection doesn't save you from losing life, just taking damage.

Cid, Timeless Artificer

Cid, Timeless Artificer is an absolutely fascinating card. He buffs both artifact creatures and Heroes (the creature type produced by job select) based on the number of Artificers you control plus the number of Artificers you have in your graveyard. He's an Artificer himself, of course, and you can cycle away excess copies to both boost your buff and draw a card.

My jank suggestion? Find a way to subvert the legend rule. Cid really loves to see a Mirror Box; multiple copies of the fellow give your artifact creatures a buff equal to the number of Cids squared. Even at only two Cids, that's still at least +4/+4, which should be enough to take over the game.

Hope Estheim

I love seeing lifegain commanders that care about how much life you gained instead of how frequently you gained it, and Hope Estheim (or as I like to call him, full price Chadley) fits that bill better than a duck at Victoria's Secret.

With Hope in the command zone, your win condition turns from "deal a total of 120 damage" to "heal a total of 100 damage". That sounds daunting, but cards like Beacon of Immortality and Akroma's Will go a long way towards closing that gap.

For some extra spice, try and take advantage of those ever-increasing graveyards. This might be one of the first decks I actually care to run Diluvian Primordial in.

Krile Baldesion

Stapling a Raise Dead to every noncreature spell you cast sounds like fun, but then I realized Krile Baldesion forces you to match the mana value of your target exactly — no "mana value equal or less than." Fun if you pick a single mana value to base your entire deck around, though; my money's on a 2-drop deck.

Lyse Hext

...and if you're going for a 2-drop deck, you'll definitely want to include Lyse Hext, who would halve the cost of all such spells. Go for the cheap stuff, and if you need an explanation why you should focus on that, reread the Prompto Argentum review.

Counterspells that aren't entirely pips, like Arcane Denial, are reduced to a single blue. Refundables like Snap become mana positive, and one-drop artifacts also make out well here, vastly increasing the amount of Cheerios you can put in your bowl. This is the deck for someone who wants to take lots of game actions.

Tidus, Blitzball Star

Anything Tidus, Blitzball Star can do, Mendicant can do better.

Urianger Augurelt

Urianger Augurelt gets better the more untappers you put in his deck, since he basically reads "tap to draw a card that's discounted by two." The best part about him is that you don't necessarily have to go and shoot every bullet in his magazine at once; you can pick and choose individual spells between turns, so if you've exiled a removal spell you're not particularly keen on casting, you can save it for later.

The only thing that worries me is that the cards in exile aren't marked by something like a counter or emblem that the other ability can key off of. The cards referred to in Urianger's second ability are directly linked to the first ability, and that means that if Urianger dies, so do your hopes of casting anything you've built up with him. Like an Egyptian pharaoh, he is buried with his treasures.

Emet-Selch of the Third Seat

Once per turn, Emet-Selch of the Third Seat lets you turbo-flashback a spell when an opponent loses life. Call him Walmart, because that's some great value.

I wouldn't worry too much about forcing the lifeloss. It's really tempting to go all-in on enablers like pingers so you can get that sweet trigger every turn, but you're gonna run out of instants and sorceries in your graveyard way too fast if you do that.

Stay patient, bide your time with draw spells, and when your opponents fight amongst themselves, Merfolk Looter a Time Stretch into your yard at instant speed to steal the game. Emet-Selch ignores timing restrictions, so with enough ways to discard, you can use him to build-your-own-flash.

Emet-Selch, Unsundered

Emet-Selch, Unsundered, Moisturized, Happy, In His Lane, Focused, Flourishing is nothing special until he flips, at which point he becomes a neverending Yawgmoth's Will.

Ideally, he only sticks around for as long as you actually want to cast spells. Enchant him with Vanishing, yeet a bunch of instants from your yard onto the stack, and then phase him out so that none of those cards you cast end up actually getting exiled.

Golbez, Crystal Collector

Gathering the eight artifacts is the easy part. Finding the creature that immediately kills everyone is hard, and for that, you have to look to characteristic-defining abilities, which work in all zones. Golbez loves to see a Consuming Aberration in the yard, I tell you what.

Locke Cole

Locke Cole reminds me of Darkblade Agent. That's a severe problem, not only because is my brain so cooked that I can still remember random commons from Guilds of Ravnica seven years out, but also because one of the most popular characters in the Final Fantasy canon shouldn't be reduced to one.

Sephiroth, Planet's Heir

Ironic that Sephiroth is thoroughly outclassed by Massacre Wurm, given that his propensity for dunking on giant serpents is something of a meme.

Ultimecia, Time Sorceress

Play Ultimecia, Time Sorceress, tutor out Agatha's Soul Cauldron, Entomb a Concealing Curtains, and flip her over again and again for the world's most convoluted infinite turns combo.

Xande, Dark Mage

Dimir's awfully boring this go around, aren't they? Twinky fop aside, nobody in the color pair has given me that spark of inspiration. They're usually good at that, too. Alas.

At least Xande, Dark Mage will end things quickly, when you inevitably mill half your deck and Key to the City into a cheesy commander damage kill.

Black Waltz No. 3

Red has so many of these noncreature pingers that putting one in the command zone seems redundant. You have so many other, better options to choose from, like Tor Wauki the Younger and Ojer Axonil. Go with one of those, and if the color identity matches up, include Black Waltz No. 3 as another roleplayer.

Garland, Knight of Cornelia

Garland, Knight of Cornelia is too low-impact to justify the command zone slot, and the back side doesn't matter because nobody in this format is paying seven mana for a (more-or-less vanilla) flying 5/5.

I do quite like him in the ninety-nine of Rakdos reanimator decks, but beyond that, no way.

Kefka, Dancing Mad

I need to get this opinion off my brain: indestructible only during your turn is not as good as it looks. If you're facing white or blue, then the type of single-target removal that would see play at instant speed exiles or bounces their victim to hand. If you're up against green, then that color doesn't have real removal at all anyway, so it's a moot point. It's only really red and black that's affected by it, and even then they can just wait until another turn to kill Kefka, or use stuff like Chaos Warp or Baleful Mastery.

But right, the actual card. Kefka is super-Etali for people that don't want to ruin lives with poison counters. You're ripping cards from the graveyard instead of off the top, but that's usually an improvement in quality (as stuff in the graveyard is generally there because it was removed). Resist the urge to mill your opponents out; that just stocks graveyards with lands and useless mana rocks. Instead, play tons of removal (Life's Finale is especially good) and use Thoughtseizes to carefully select your potential win conditions.

Kuja, Genome Sorcerer

Four or more wizards is nothing; it's not hard at all to flip Kuja turn four. Your reward is double damage from all Wizard sources.

This may surprise you, but there are actually very few pingers in red that are specifically Wizards; it's really just Coruscation Mage and Black Waltz No. 3. The supporting cards from the set help a little; Queen Brahne can make some Black Mages, as can Circle of Power.

It's not enough to carry a deck, though, so you'll have to either go to combat (the horror!) or try something like Volatile Claws to force the magic to happen. Failing that, Kuja's is a great trigger to copy, so you won't have to sit there for years waiting for him to flip.

Locke, Treasure Hunter

Sadly, you only get one Treasure token no matter how many lands get milled, you only get to cast one spell no matter how many spells get milled, and your colors aren't fixed for that spell, so that Treasure won't be sticking around very long.

It's not all bad, though. Locke's strength is that you'll see lots of cards. His built in evasion means he's unlikely to run into many problems attacking, and unlike other theft commanders, you don't have to actually hit everyone to get their loot. Just chip away at the big fat dumb Gruul player and play the best spells.

Setzer, Wandering Gambler

There's two distinct possibilities for Setzer, Wandering Gambler decks. You can either eschew gambling completely and play a bunch of Vehicles, or you can bet everything on black and go for broke. This isn't the same level of value as Okaun and Zndrsplt, so I'm less willing to go all in; the real path is probably somewhere in the middle. Be careful what you include, though — you actually have to flip a coin in a manner that you can win, so Rakdos, the Showstopper isn't going to make you a gazillion Treasures.

One tip: if you're bummed about the Treasure entering tapped, go ahead and include an Unwinding Clock or an Amulet of Vigor. That should solve the problem right quick.

Balthier and Fran

Bold move creating an extra combat commander that fails to untap anything in the extra combat. Balthier and Fran give Vehicles vigilance, so I get that you're supposed to be hitting people with cars, but it's just so much investment for such a narrow payoff that I'm unimpressed.

Barret, Avalance Leader

This Barret effectively gives your Equipment For Mirrodin!, which is such a strange flavor implication that I can't help but love it.

The most notable omission on his card I spot is the word nontoken. In other words, Barret triggers on token Equipment, so find Toggo, Firion, and Stangg to take my token doubling deck to its logical conclusion.

Gladiolus Amicitia

Gladiolus Amicitia is the commander for those of you who want a land to be your secret commander. He's nowhere near as good at it as Golos was, thanks to his restrictive color identity and the fact that he's not goddamn Golos, but I'll take what I can get.

Potential winners in the "I want this land to be my commander" tournament are Field of the Dead, Valakut, Glacial Chasm, Yavimaya, Cradle of Growth, Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth (that yummy, yummy Roots of Life), Kessig Wolf Run, Three Tree City, Nykthos, Gaea's Cradle, Dark Depths, Maze's End, and Strip Mine. You can be as much of an ass as you like with a guaranteed tutor of any of these to the field.

Red XIII, Proud Warrior

Nanaki here strikes me as more of a ninety-nine card than a commander card, since giving your creatures vigilance and especially trample is not that difficult a feat in Gruul. I'd be more excited with access to black, since that would potentially open up Kaya's Ghostform shenanigans. Oh well.

Rydia, Summoner of Mist

Severe mist missed opportunity here not making Rydia a double-faced card, given that she pretty famously joins your party as a child and then gets Narnia'd into an adult halfway through the game.

Rydia isn't cheating out any Sagas; you're still paying full price for them with her activated ability. She does allow you to use them twice without any extra input, and her low casting cost and legitimately great Landfall trigger means you'll always have something to summon.

I don't even have to tell you aspiring Janketeers out there that removing that finality counter is your first assignment. Tempting Licid may be my favorite card, but Nesting Grounds just keeps on giving.

Terra, Magical Adept

Though she looks Gruul, Terra is a five color commander thanks to the obviously-shoehorned-in-for-color-identity-purposes fourth chapter on her flipside. And you'll need to get to that flipside for anything interesting to happen; her introductory trigger is no Marina Vendrell, so blinking her to draw enchantments is not the best use of your time.

But let's assume you get to flip. Terra gives you token copies of nonlegendary enchantments you control, and if they're Sagas, you basically get all the chapters at once. Better yet, if you get multiple chapters at once, you get to pick the order they resolve in. The only synergy that doesn't go in our favor is, ironically, read ahead, which gives Sagas rules text that prevents multiple chapter abilities from triggering simultaneously.

Infinite combo afficionados have already intuitively sensed the interaction with Spark Double (yet another instance of dark Hot Cross Buns magic), but there's more here worth looking at. There are (good God) one-hundred and eighty-six Sagas in Magic now. Lots are junk, but I'll highlight a few good ones:

• The March of Machines Praetors are all nonlegendary on their backside, so you can do some ridiculous damage with The True Scriptures or The Argent Etchings;
• You can get tons of lands and creatures back with The Mending of Dominaria;
• Reanimating the milled cards is a cinch, whether it be via Elspeth Conquers Death or The Eldest Reborn;
• The aforementioned Three Blind Mice goes infinite, because of course it does;
• Summon: Bahamut outright burns your opponents to death.

Terra's probably too good to be outright jank, but she'll be damn fun to play.

Aerith, Last Ancient

Aerith, Last Ancient is another take on the (quickly-growing) strategy of lifegain reanimator, this time centered in Selesnya instead of mono-white, Orzhov, or Abzan.

Any strategy that you could try out with those three likely applies to Aerith, but you have to go all the way to seven life to actually reanimate anything. A clear upgrade from prior incarnations if you've got a deck full of twelve-drops, but terrible if you wanna play with small value creatures.

Of course, you can eschew the reanimation strategy entirely and go for creatures that you discard for value. Constantly channeling Greater Tanuki seems fun. You'll just have to justify why you're not doing that with some flavor of Ravos, Soultender.

Garnet, Princess of Alexandria

Dagger works best with Sagas who front-load all their power. The way she works, you only get to remove lore counters once you go to combat, so you're not going to be able to repeatedly trigger the last chapter of a Saga; it'll already be gone by the time you attack.

I'm genuinely interested in how big she can go; every Saga represents an anthem to her, and they compound over time. Two attacks with two Sagas already makes her a lifelinking 6/6, and that's a low end for her.

Rinoa Heartilly

I'm kinda stunned that, Shanna aside, there aren't any commanders that give buffs based on the amount of creatures you control. I would have loved if Rinoa was willing to enter the fray herself, but unfortunately her trigger can only target another creature. Seems like a slam dunk with Wild Beastmaster-types, though.

Serah Farron

True to her source material, Serah Farron enters and immediately dies by crystalification. She's way too easy to transform, so you might as well judge her by her backside: three mana to discount your first legendary each turn by two and buff them all by +2/+2.

That's great value, but the legendary-matters space is so saturated that I don't see any reason to put her in the command zone. Even in Selesnya, Sisay outright tutors her to your hand. Maybe you'll get a better role in the sequel, Serah.

Shelinda, Yevon Acolyte

If you want your creatures to buff your commander, play Yorvo. If you want your commander to buff your creatures, play Renata. This half-and-half strategy feels inconsistent at best.

Wakka, Devoted Guardian

When Wakka shoots, he scores: he gets a +1/+1 counter and blows up an artifact that the defending player controls. It's no Aura Shards, but it should keep the artifacts player in check, and as a bonus he radiates his +1/+1 counter outwards at the end of your turn if he gets one.

These generic value engines are really difficult to pin down jank strategies for. It's what you get when all your uncommon signposts and commander deck roleplayers get legendarified. They have to be the glue that holds your deck together, and I'm sorry to say, but a lot of cards like that aren't so much interesting as much as they are useful.

Yuna, Hope of Spira

Well shit; I'm sorry, Rydia. Seems like Yuna, Hope of Spira has just stolen your thunder. In exchange for three more mana up-front and the loss of the card cycling ability, Yuna, Hope of Spira actually gets to cheat Sagas holy shit, any enchantment out from the graveyard, and in colors far more suited to taking advantage of the permanent type.

Well, we're going for enchantment reanimator, no questions about that, and Selesnya has no shortage. Hell, it might be the only way to reasonably get Legion Loyalty onto the battlefield. No access to blue, unfortunately, so Omniscience is off the table. Honestly, figuring out what you want to play is simple; it's the discard that's the tricky part, and you may find yourself resorting to cards like Collector's Vault to get there.

Of course, don't forget to pack your Nesting Grounds. It's not even so much recursion protection at this point as it is a way to put finality counters on things your opponents control, which can be backbreaking to the sacrifice decks.

Ardbert, Warrior of Darkness

Like the dual-colored commanders of Ravnica, but Teysa, Orzhov Scion makes everyone look at you side-eyed, like you're some sort of degenerate combo player? Fret no more, for now we have Ardbert, Warrior of Darkness, who is straight up better than Arvad the Cursed.

You've got tens of legendary Orzhov creatures to choose from, who will both trigger and benefit from Ardbert's ability. The most synergistic among them are Elenda, the Dusk Rose, who will quickly take over a game, Drana and Livnala, who will quickly take over a game, and Carmen, Cruel Skymarcher, who will quickly take over a game. Obviously, your entire deck isn't going to be legendary creatures, so focus on the ones with counter synergies and leave the aristocrats commanders to the wayside.

For a bit of a personal point, I've always found Orzhov to be the most difficult color to do something interesting with. For better or for worse, Orzhov is very mechanically cohesive; it likes to go wide, sacrifice creatures, drain opponents, and gain life. I know it's a bit of a meme to dunk on Boros Equipment commanders, but Orzhov Aristocrats is just as bad in my mind.

On the other hand, all their multicolored spells are really, really useful; just look at this all-star cast of Anguished Unmaking, Damn, Despark, Inkshield, Fracture, Vanishing Verse, Abtruse Appropriation, Kaya's Guile, and Batwing Brume. You're set for removal and protection without even trying in this color pair.

This leads me all to the conclusion that Ardbert, Warrior of Darkness can't be jank, but he can be the epitome of goodstuff. It's the Magic deck for people that want to test their skills in game as opposed to during deckbuilding, and saying I don't respect that as much as going full jank would be a lie.

Estinien Varlineau

Estinien is Tymna with a lot of rules and regulations stapled to it. You can't choose how many cards to draw; you have to hit your opponents with dragons specifically; you need to prove that the real part of all non-trivial zeroes of the Reimann-Zeta function is equal to one-half.

That's not to mention that there's an inherent contradiction on his card. You want to play Dragons so you can get the most draw possible, but you also want to play as many low-cost noncreature spells to make Estinien as buff as possible. The only thing that bridges the gap are those Adventure dragons from Baldur's Gate, so maybe Crystal Dragon will finally have a home.

Judge Magister Gabranth

Judge Magister Gabranth really needed a sac outlet to even remotely compete with Bartolomé del Presidio. I know there's menace, and there's a real possibility that I underestimate how much impact it has on a game, but c'mon.

Papalymo Totolymo

Boy would Papalymo Totolymo be annoying to Feign Death over and over.

Rufus Shinra

There's nothing interesting going on with Discount Dante Devil May Cry here, so I'll take a second to talk about the art in this set, in that I find the art representing the older games in the series to be vastly more interesting than the art representing the new ones.

As someone who's played a lot of Final Fantasy games, it's intriguing to see how the old pixel art of the 90s games gets translated to the Magic style. Locke Cole was an eye-opener in particular, because as strange as it was to see him in such high fidelity, his appearance is faithful not only to his 16-bit sprite, but also to the general aesthetic and design trends of today. It's like the treatment Pit got in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, where the artist drew a line out from years ago to create a fresh representation with modern sensibilities.

The art representing characters in newer games does not get the same love and care. This isn't Rufus Shinra from Final Fantasy VII, this is Rufus Shinra from Final Fantasy VII Remake, and it looks like a painted-over screenshot from that game, down to the lighting and background elements. Yes, it's impressive in that it's such an accurate portrayal, but it's missing that creative spark I love to chase.

Why not portray Rufus Shinra in a different scenario? Even if you were obligated to use his modern design, you don't have to put him at the top of Shinra HQ like in Remake. Even though the new trilogy isn't done, yet, we have the entire plot of Final Fantasy VII to work with. Have him do something from the back half of the game that we haven't experienced yet in the remakes; it would be a nice little glimpse of the future for everyone excited about that game.

I realize that I'm not explaining myself all that well, so for a comparison, imagine if all the characters from the Lord of the Rings set were dead ringers for their movie counterparts. In fact, that's what happened with the Jurassic Park set, despite the fact that there was an opportunity to go back to the books and come up with completely original designs. It feels like you could have done so much more.

Characters are not their portrayals. They grow and evolve with new interpretations and analysis over time. Seeing the same designs exactly how they appear in the game in the exact settings you see in the game is fun for a bit of nostalgia, but it undermines the concept of these stories as works of art by pinning them to exactly how it was told the first time around. I wish companies would move away from the idea that their games are products first and take a risk by introducing a little creative liberty.

Squall, SeeD Mercenary

Squall, SeeD Mercenary is pretty similar to Lurrus, but he trades consistency for power. You have the opportunity to get two permanents a turn without even needing to spend any mana, and you can even bump up the mana value of your target to three, but he has to get through in combat to do it, and he has to attack alone for his built-in double strike.

I don't think that he's necessarily better or worse than Lurrus, which, given my track record of me pulling up legendaries that outclass these new cards this set, is a welcome conclusion. The one advantage Lurrus does lord over Squall in the deckbuilding category is that, while you can go for a combat-centric approach with Lurrus, you really can't afford a value-centric one with Squall. Squall requires a shift in strategy. You don't have the luxury to sit around and durdle with a bevy of aristocrats effects to eke out your win; you have to commit to combat, because otherwise, he's not triggering. That means more of your deck has to go towards supporting attacking than Lurrus.

So let's lean into that. Go all-in on exalted. Really buff up your singleton attacker's power and toughess, and rely on making them unblockable with spells like Manifold Key.

Shantotto, Tactician Magician

And here we have yet another commander that has to contend with Choose a Background, though this time we're comparing Shantotto to the creature side of the duo: Livaan, Cultist of Tiamat.

They both get +X/+0 when casting noncreature spells, where X is related to the mana value of the spell. They're not exactly the same, though; there's a subtle difference in the wording. Shantotto, Tactician Magician cares about how much mana you spent to cast a spell, while Livaan, Cultist of Tiamat cares about the mana value of the spell. Most of the time, this is the same number, but it affects things like discounts and alternate casting costs.

If you want to build around spells that you can sink more mana into, such as X spells, overload and kicker, go with Shantotto; she sees the effort you put into your cast and responds in kind. If you want to cheat spells out, then you want to play Livaan, Cultist of Tiamat, because he cares about the mana value only.

Shantotto can also only buff herself, while Livaan, Cultist of Tiamat can buff any creature, including enemy creatures. Livaan is more tricksy, since you can use that to affect combats that aren't yours.

The biggest difference, obviously, is the presence or absence of backgrounds. Shantotto gets you a flat draw-a-card on spells where you spend four or more mana, which isn't the most exciting thing in the world, but value is value. Livaan has so much more going on, from methods to avoid being blocked to getting even more power to getting stronger over time.

Personally, I'd only consider Shantotto if I really wanted to go all-in on additional costs. Izzet's pretty good at that sort of thing.

Tellah, Great Sage

Well this is an infinite mana sink if I've ever seen one.

Five mana is a little late for your noncreature spells to start making 1/1s, but Tellah, Great Sage excels once you start pouring more oompah into your spells.

Adding a Divination to every noncreature spell that costs four or more is ridiculous. You could make an entire deck based around casting terrible rocks like Sisay's Ring, and Tellah will reward you for it.

Once you're all charged up, all you have to do is sink that mana into an X spell and watch meteors rain down on your enemies. God help them if you've managed to find Fiery Emancipation first, which draws you two cards when you cast it, by the way.

Something that strikes me as a hilarious option with all these mana-spent commanders is symmetrical stax. Why yes, my Lodestone Golem has made my spells cost more to cast; but now I draw two cards for every three-cost spell in my deck, too!

The Emperor of Palamecia

Do I even need to tell you to self-mill here?

Vivi Ornitier

Alrighty, Vivi Ornitier is cracked, there's no way around that. He's gonna end up a roleplayer in practically any Izzet deck that even remotely cares about noncreature spells, since he makes tons of mana and deals tons of damage, and scales with each spell you cast.

The jank approach would be to find a way to buff his power up without casting noncreature spells, and taking advantage of the fact that he's a mana dork that doesn't care about summoning sickness. Luckily, I've already written at length about that, so...

Cloud of Darkness

Every once in a while, the game designers throw me a bone by printing a garbage card that I don't have to think twice about dismissing out of hand. Saves me a lot of words, and that matters when it's been literal weeks and I'm already in the tens of thousands.

Exdeath, Void Warlock

First of all, the lifegain is weird. Exdeath, the world-ending demon with a castle made of pulsating flesh, heals you for three when he enters. Sure, Jan.

It's the backside that counts, and he transforms into a trampler with power equal to the number of permanent cards in your graveyard. We've seen commanders that care about the number of creatures in your yard as well as the number of lands, but all permanents is quite new. It doesn't take much effort for that to become game-ending, especially if you're playing nothing but sacrificial lambs like Haywire Mite.

And hey, since you're already gorging as many permanents as possible, why not go all in and make this commander the king of Primal Surge?

Jenova, Ancient Calamity

It's canon: Jenova loves big, green fatties. You make something like Elder Gargaroth into a Mutant, and what is your opponent gonna do? Triple block it, lose a bunch of creatures, and draw you seven cards? I don't think so.

The only thing Jenova's missing is access to blue, because Mutants seem like a Simic thing, but that's a minor point. What a great card.

Oh, and it's worth pointing out you can target an opponent's creature with the counter, making it into a Mutant. It doesn't help you, since Jenova only triggers the card draw on when a Mutant you control dies, but maybe you've got some weird theft idea cooking in your mind.

Banon, the Returners' Leader

Banon seems like a fun cycling deck, especially if you have ways to bounce those creatures back to your hand after casting them. Reinforced Ronin is a hilariously good include, and I can't wait to see the look on someone's face when I use Pull from Eternity to rescue something from the Plowzone.

Cloud, Planet's Champion

Yet another Equipment-focused Voltron commander, so there's not much to say.

My only wish is that Cloud's flavor text kept going with more confirmation that it's not over. "It's not over yet...this isn't the end...we're not ready to stop...we're going to keep going...there's more to do!"

Edgar, Master Machinist

This Edgar is a more consistent, but less explosive Osgir. You're not doubling artifacts, but you're not exiling them, either, so you can build up your arsenal without fear of retribution, and you can reuse any artifacts that sacrifice themselves as much as you want.

The additional power on attack is a nice touch. I don't expect it to be any more than four or five in most cases, but it's free power when an opponent is left shields down.

Giott, King of the Dwarves

I'd like to take the opportunity to point out that this loser got his own card when most of the casts of Final Fantasy II and Final Fantasy V didn't.

Joshua, Phoenix's Dominant

While Joshua can't match his brother in terms of refilling your hand, he does let you resurrect any number of creature cards with total mana value six or less in his final chapter — and you know what that means. 0-cost creatures and Impact Tremors, here we come!

Lightning, Army of One

If Lightning connects, that player is just screwed, and there's multiple ways you can confirm the kill:

• Give her double strike. Not only will she boost the damage scaling to quadruple, her second hit is affected by the boost of the first, so she does nine damage baseline and kills with just +4/+0;
• Start goading everything to force your opponents to fight, since it lasts until your next turn;
• Go for multiple combats, because if she can hit once, she can hit twice;
• Burn, baby, burn — Banefire is much better when you only have to sink half the mana into it.

Mog, Moogle Warrior

Mog has the same problem that Tempt with Bunnies has, and that's that it's so easy (and objectively correct) for your opponents not to engage.

Either they don't discard any cards, in which case you're experiencing either the worst token generation or the worst counter generation this game has to offer, or they do discard cards, which means they're desperate and you probably could have walloped them in that state with any other commander.

Sephiroth, Fallen Hero

Now this is a living weapon commander. It's easy to misinterpret Sephiroth, Fallen Hero as only buffing the creatures that he's given cell counters to, but his text box does indeed say "each modified creature," so play things that come in modified and your job is already half-done.

Holy shit, this works with modular creatures too, doesn't it? And he comes with his own recursive sac outlet, so that's all the bases covered.

Zidane, Tantalus Thief

Zidane, Tantalus Thief makes cards like Mob Rule and Insurrection generate shitloads of Treasures. I just don't know in what world that matters when those spells also tend to generate a shitload of dead corpses.

Plus, I have reservations about telegraphing the temporary theft strategy. If you want it to work, you'd prefer your opponents overcommit to the board or to buffing up their Voltron creature. Putting Zidane in the command zone is like shouting "I'm running Act of Treason Tribal!" and you can't cancel me for that because that's his last name — see, it's capitalized!

Ignis Scientia

You'd have to be blind to consider Ignis over any of the other Simic commanders that care about lands.

Kimahri, Valiant Guardian

The most interesting thing about Kimahri, Valiant Guardian besides his well-toned abs is the fact that his copy effect doesn't stop at the end of the turn. He's just stuck as whatever until a better target comes along and you decide to swap him for something else.

Omega, Heartless Evolution

I suppose the stun counters can be more annoying than outright removal if you target everyone's commanders, but that's really the only positive thing I have to say about Omega, Heartless Evolution. I guess you could blink him, but at seven mana to cast, he's too little, too late.

Sin, Unending Cataclysm

As jank as it would be to continuously double Sin's counters by throwing a series of Clones down his gullet (Clone Sin devours the counters from the Original Sin, then dies to the legend rule and returns the counters back to the source), the fact that you only really need to eat eight counters to turn him into a one-shot machine in the first place really takes the wind out of my sails.

The Wandering Minstrel

If Towns don't tickle your fancy, then perhaps some shenanigans with Magosi, the Waterveil will?

G'raha Tia, Scion Reborn

Esper G'raha Tia is an interesting challenge to tackle. I can't outright recommend X spells, because then you're paying life to do what Zaxara does for free.

You're better off playing spells in the three-to-five range and racking up the incremental value over time until you're ready to kill everyone with Akroma's Will. This is not very jank, and I'm sorry about that.

Noctis, Prince of Lucis

You're in enchantment tutor colors, Noctis — go find Solemnity already.

Y'shtola, Night's Blessed

Sygg, but more. Y'shtola, Night's Blessed really wants you to find ways to hurt players every turn, whether it be Vising 'em out or by casting noncreature spells and triggering off that.

She's got some Do-the-Thing Syndrome, where she both enables and pays off a specific strategy, so I'm not enthustiastic about her, but hey — she says player, not opponent, so feel free to pay four life a turn to draw a card. I'm not stopping you, especially if I'm sitting across the table from you.

Kefka, Court Mage

To tell you the truth, I'm not even entirely convinced I want to flip Kefka, Court Mage. Sure, you'll draw a ridiculous amount of cards, but it's not like you're gonna be able to make use of such a gigantic grip all that well. I kinda just wanna blink him over and over, à la Nicol Bolas.

Personally, I would rather be in a scenario where I've got seven cards in hand and my opponents have zero as opposed to one where I've got thirty cards in hand and my opponents each have three or four.

Cloud, Ex-SOLDIER

Go-wide Equipment is much harder to pull off than go-tall Equipment, simply because it's easier to cheat a bunch of Equipment onto one target than it is to equip a bunch of Equipment to multiple targets.

Cloud, Ex-SOLDIER has similar synergies with job select and living weapon as the other Equipment-focused commanders in this round-up, so the only question you're really asking here is if you want it to translate into raw card draw or some other benefit. Too much raw value for me, though; too easy.

Tifa, Martial Artist

Tifa, Martial Artist can give you up to three extra combats per turn, assuming you're able to hit each of your opponents with a seven power creature. She'll trigger three times, and since all three of those triggers occurred during your first combat phase, you'll get three more.

She also untaps all your creatures regardless of what phase it is, so you can go nuts without worrying about the crackback. Oh, and her melee stacks with each combat, too. Actually, that's kinds absurd on its own; assuming you attack all three opponents, and she's unblockable, she's guaranteed to do seventeen damage to someone with almost no extra input. Maybe she's the secret Voltron commander of the set, and you use your dorks to trigger her melee.

Frankly, if you're in a position to hit all of your opponents with a seven power creature, you've probably already won the game without the explicit need for that many extra combats, but it's nice to hurry it along a little.

Choco, Seeker of Paradise

Boy, it's a good thing there's no Landfall triggers that create Birds, or easily castable ways to get tons of tokens, because that might make Choco a problem. Bonus points for every game you ruin by casting Dovescape!

Tidus, Yuna's Guardian

Tidus, Yuna's Guardian can help you proliferate interesting counters, like hexproof counters, and move them around to get all your creatures in on it. He's just really slow at doing that, so make the most of it by focusing on indestructible counters or something.

Yuna, Grand Summoner

Yuna, Grand Summoner launders any counters into +1/+1 counters, so if you're willing to get your hands dirty with sac outlets, then you can go ahead and turn Eternity Vessel into a staggering +40/+40 buff for that random Birds of Paradise you've had laying around since the beginning of the game.

Celes, Rune Knight

Celes so clearly goes infinite with persist that the strategy isn't even jank, it's just good. And that's bad.

Terra, Herald of Hope

This is just Alesha, right? Like, Terra, Herald of Hope is just an Alesha that trades off a higher range of recurrables for the requirement that you connect to get there. The Final Fantasy VI precon is 0 for 2 in terms of interesting, new mechanics, huh?

Sin, Spira's Punishment

Wow, that last sentence really saves Sin, Spira's Punishment, because blanking when you hit your fetchland would be a terrible nightmare for a creature that costs so much.

It would be really fun to exile my own graveyard, cast Sin and Punishment, and then Zuran Orb away my entire landbase to get like, ten Landfall triggers in a row. Also, I can't be the only one that finds him kinda cute. Who's a good whale?

The Warring Triad

If I go to this commander's EDHREC page and see anything besides Manaliths, I'm gonna be really disappointed in my Bracket 1 fans out there.

Ultima, Origin of Oblivion

It's way easier to ramp in colorless than it is to draw a payoff, so Ultima, Origin of Oblivion feels better suited for the ninety-nine, subservient to his Eldrazi overlords. Also, I completely forgot this guy existed. Final Fantasy XVI would have been better if he was completely excised from the story, and that's a pretty damning indictment of your main villain.

Conclusion

Holy shit, that was a lot. If I did your commander dirty, tell me about it at my Discord — I'm always willing to update these articles with new strategies, and I'll give you the credit for it, too.

Sets like these have to be challenging for Wizards. You have to balance the needs of the limited format with the idea that every legendary creature should be unique in its own right, and some of these characters obviously missed the mark. Fuckin' nobody is clamoring for a copy of Ashe, Princess of Dalmasca, and it's a little lame that there's a clear line to draw between a character's popularity and a character's power level.

But that's also the reality of things, right? You're not gonna make the less popular characters more popular with a neat card, and you're not gonna win any points by making a beloved character common.

The silver lining is that Wizards left a lot on the table for a revisit to this IP. Legendary creatures aside, there's also a plethora of monsters, moments, and items that they could draw from to make interesting gameplay. I'm hoping they get the chance to revisit this. The roaring success of its sales seems like a good reason to, anyway.

But that's it for me. Join me next time, when there will probably be the same amount of words for like, ten cards instead of a million.