Hey, dog owners! Are you having problems with your precious pooch? Maybe they bite anyone that goes to pet them. Maybe they bark and growl, but only at the French, so it’s really awkward explaining that. Maybe they were born a chihuahua.
Well, whatever your canine conundrum is, I can fix it! Hi, I’m Michael Celani, and unlike other frauds who claim to be dog whisperers, I’m a full-throated dog shouter—in that I shout at your dog until they listen to you. I understand that dogs are four-legged mammals that like eating food and responding to external stimuli, so I use that expert knowledge to make them do stuff like fetch a ball or commit wire fraud.
Don’t believe me? Then meet my brightest pupil, Voja, and his master, Tolsimir Wolfblood. It was a hopeless case; before taking my classes, Voja was a cat. Now, he’s a legendary 2/2 green and white Wolf creature token—and he can come back whenever he wants, thanks to Tolsimir. What a good boy!
One, Two, Three, Four
But why gas up Tolsimir instead of some other, hotter Wolf commander? Am I stupid? Actually, don’t answer that.
It’s because Tolsimir has an activated ability that creates four-power creatures on demand. That’s all thanks to his static ability which buffs Selesnya creatures by +2/+2. Green mages can only count to four, so they’ve built their whole identity around it—whether it be with abilities that trigger when a creature that powerful enters, or with effects that get better provided you control a creature that strong, and that’s it, those are the only two examples. Voja is so precious that he supports an entire deck strategy all on his own, yes he does!
More Cards, Please
Let’s start with the draw. This list is absolutely inundated with permanents up and down the curve that draw you extra cards whenever a suitably strong creature enters under your control, and Voja fits the bill. Let’s take a look at them now:
- Elemental Bond: The simplest version of this effect in the game comes with great upside: Elemental Bond only needs a creature to have three power instead of the customary four. That means that, assuming Tolsimir is on the field, it’ll trigger on most other creatures in the deck in addition to Voja.
- Tribute to the World Tree: This variant on Elemental Bond gives any creature that doesn’t match its power threshold two +1/+1 counters to compensate. Its only drawback compared to the original is its stringent color requirements.
- Garruk’s Uprising: Although it’s more selective than Elemental Bond, Garruk’s Uprising not only replaces itself if it enters while you already control a four-power creature, it also gives your entire board trample.
- Outcaster Trailblazer: To make the most out of Outcaster Trailblazer, you’ll want to plot it so that you can cast it for free on a later turn. In addition to shielding it from removal until you’re ready to collect your card, you can also use the mana it generates when it enters to cast a spell (like Tolsimir) a turn early.
- Garruk’s Packleader: This draw engine is itself a 4/4 creature, meaning it’ll trigger your other draw engines when it enters…
- Vaultborn Tyrant: …and this draw engine is a 6/6 creature that also replaces itself when it enters, adds a life gain rider to each trigger, and comes back when it dies!
Unfortunately, as a token, Voja will only ever enter the battlefield once. Try as he might, he can only trigger these draw engines a single time; there simply isn’t any new trick that can teach this ol’ dog to dig up new cards for you (just ignore the Herd Heirloom and Bonders’ Enclave in the list, it’s devastating to my case). But that’s why I’m the dog shouter, the best in the business! My professional advice for your wuffy woes? Just get another dog!
That’s right; even if you’ve already got your very own, irreplaceable best friend, you can still tap Tolsimir to call another irreplaceable best friend, who happily leaps to your side with boundless optimism and cheer! Of course, Voja is legendary, so the laws of the universe dictate that one of them must be punted to the graveyard and then erased from existence entirely thanks to state-based actions.
But don’t cry; this deck doesn’t have to be the unmitigated tragedy that a strategy predicated on replacing your beloved dead dog with an identical copy over and over would suggest. If it makes you feel any better, Voja does not feel pain and did not know that he wasn’t good enough for you. If that doesn’t assuage you, then try making those trips to a farm upstate just a teensy bit more palatable by ritualistically sacrificing Voja yourself with value-spewing outlets like Greater Good and Evolutionary Leap. That way, you can refill your hand and keep the chain going! Isn’t that great? I swear there’s nothing wrong with me.
Digging Up Mana
Oh wait, I knew I had a set of payoffs that don’t require you sacrifice your dog around here somewhere! Each of these ramp spells becomes much more effective with a four-power creature on the board. Fanatic of Rhonas, Ilyisian Caryatid, and Whisperer of the Wilds all tap for more mana if you’ve got a strong enough creature, while Traverse the Outlands and Entish Restoration will reward you with more lands.
And The Rest
Having a lotta power has more applications than simply triggering draw engines and beefing up your mana production. Here’s a fun fact: you can actually smack people around with those creatures, so you can kill your opponents with this weird thing nobody’s ever heard of called “the combat damage step.”
Also, here’s a bunch of unique effects that benefit from higher power that don’t really fit in their own category. Both Halana, Kessig Ranger and Tolsimir, Friend to Wolves each help Voja scrap when he enters the battlefield; Trostani, Selesnya’s Voice gains you plenty of life with each new pooch; and you can create an explosion of tokens by sacrificing a Voja to Mercy Killing.
Mythical Mutts
Voja ain’t unique just because he’s big, though; he’s unique because he’s legendary. You should be well aware of that already, thanks to the giant pile of wolf pelts in the corner that’s grown so large it makes the Trader from Inscryption blush. Yup, being legendary isn’t all downside (well, don’t get me wrong, it’s mostly downside). Here’s a quick interlude that uses Voja’s legendary legacy for some neat tech!
Some More Rocks
As a legendary creature, Voja can tap himself to untap both Honor-Worn Shaku and Relic of Legends. Crucially, that activated ability isn’t hamstrung by summoning sickness the way Cryptolith Rite is, so try tapping a Wolf for mana before throwing it away for next year’s model. You can also cast convoke spells with an untapped Voja regardless of summoning sickness, so Dazzling Theater can put a real dent in the mortgage you’ve gotta take out to summon Vaultborn Tyrant.
Not So Unique Anymore
Of course, if the idea of throwing multiple Voja tokens (Vojas?) away over the course of every single game has made you anxious this entire article, then both Mirror Box and Mirror Gallery revoke the “legend rule” in its entirety, quotes and all. It’s unfortunate that Voja doesn’t benefit from Mirror Box’s same name clause on account of being a token, but it still gets the default +1/+1 for being legendary in the first place. That’s well worth the three mana asking price.
Arrives Precisely When He Means To
Finally, you’ve got motherfucking Gandalf in here as a legendary Panharmonicon you can flash in whenever you don’t actually need the mana for your Beast Within or whatever. It’ll trigger your draw engines twice for every Voja that enters instead of just once, and he combos quite well with the other, not-as-good Tolsimirs in the deck, too.
Double Dog Dare Ya
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the previous 1,400 words, give or take, it’s that one dog isn’t enough dog. After all, if I had become the dog shouter by shouting at only one dog, then that would be really weird, and also really funny to picture.
No, have dog, will travel, and thanks to Selesnya’s power to double tokens, you can turn one Voja into another number of Vojas (Vojen?) equal to two raised to the power of yet another number.
That means for each doubler you control, you’ll draw twice as many cards off your triggers, and heaven help your opponents if you’ve found Mirror Box. Why, just imagine two Voji, or maybe four Vojanoids, or maybe even four billion two hundred ninety-four million nine hundred sixty-seven thousand two hundred ninety-six Vojaquois, all yapping away and raring to bite an opponent’s hand all at the same time. The dogabilities are infinite, provided that all of your dogabilities are divisible by two.
Buy One Pooch, Get One Free
I understand how stupid it is on the face of it to include token doublers in a deck where the tokens will never experience more than the slightest glimpse of life in this big beautiful world of ours, so I limited it to three of the best. Elspeth, Storm Slayer is a triple threat, with token doubling, token creation, and a better-than-it-looks team jump spell all in one planeswalker. Exalted Sunborn warps out for cheap, triggers all your draw engines on account of its power, then retreats to exile in anticipation of an encore. Finally, Rhys the Redeemed creates additional Selesnya tokens on the cheap end (this is foreshadowing) while doubling all your current tokens, right now (this is not foreshadowing).
Rest and Relaxation
After a long day of conjuring wolves right out of thin air, Tolsimir needs a break, and I don’t blame him. He’s gotta tap to summon his pet, which means he can ordinarily only create one Voja per turn cycle. The key word there is ordinarily, because with a bevy of untappers like Seeker of Skybreak, Saryth, the Viper’s Fang, Wirewood Lodge, and Patriar’s Seal, the Magic equivalents of a Five-Hour Energy, the dog will have more than just his day.
Props to Drumbellower and Prop Room, which lets you get four pooches per player rotation, and Halo Fountain, which doubles as a cheesy backdoor win condition in addition to the free draw and Selesnya tokens (this is foreshadowing).
A Little Extra Help
Not even Wizards has power-crept their game to create token creatures when token creatures enter the battlefield. Ever wonder why no effect creates a creature token for free when you gain life? That’s because Soul Sisters are a thing and would immediately go infinite with such a hypothetical card.
Instead, they’ve created a few pieces that are much more reasonable—they create bonus token creatures whenever you would create a token creature. Examples include Queen Allenal of Ruadach and Quina, Qu Gourmet. Watchful Radstag will also create a new token copy of itself with each Voja, and thanks to Tolsimir’s +1/+1 boost to green creatures, those copies enter with enough power to trigger your draw engines (this is foreshadowing).
Not Dogs
Remember all the foreshadowing I was doing? That was for this part. I foreshadowed it with the subtlety befitting the reputation of the dog shouter.
Tolsimir isn’t just a dog cloning simulator; he’s also a powerful +2/+2 anthem for every Selesnya creature you control. If you can make Selesnya tokens, then you’d only need one more anthem to guarantee that that creature reaches the magic 4-power threshold (since practically all tokens have at least one power).
You can get that +1/+1 a variety of ways. Wilt-Leaf Liege, Heraldic Banner, Patchwork Banner, Flowering of the White Tree, Mirari’s Wake, and even Arwen, Weaver of Hope can give your creatures the power they need. March of the World Ooze simply sets your creatures to 6/6, and doubles as a token generator in its own right. Beastmaster Ascension is especially good, since it doubles as a win condition.
But what’s making all these tokens? We’ve already seen Mercy Killing, Rhys the Redeemed and Halo Fountain, but what else? Well, it turns out that Streets of New Capenna provides all the Citizens you need. Proper use of Rabble Rousing, Grand Crescendo, Master of Ceremonies, and Scepter of Celebration can quickly end games.
You also have access to some 2/2 Selesnya tokens, courtesy of the guild itself. Assure // Assemble’s second half creates three 2/2 Selesnya Elf Knights, and Sprouting Renewal creates one.
And, technically, Beast Within and Generous Gift both generate 3/3s you can take advantage of, too.
From here, the deck plays itself. Draw as many cards as you can to create as many tokens as you can, and then kill with a gigantic, anthem boosted strike including plenty of man’s best friend!
Beggin’ You
And that’s that! Your dog should now be loyal, kind, and deathly afraid of clowns, as they should be. Make sure you tell your friends about the wonderful dog shouter! So long as they actually own a dog; last time I trained a hamster, and well, let’s just say that that blimp had it coming.
The full deck list for this article, Too Many Good Boys, can be found here.
If you enjoyed this installment of How They Brew It, check out my Discord, where you can chat with other like-minded folks, get help on your own brews, or commission me to build decks! Let me know there what you think, and I hope to see you around next time!